Doctoring It

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I'm weirdly straight-laced, just ask my sister who has been picking on me because of it for... oh... 25 years. I blame my parents, though "blame" probably isn't the right term. And "thank" doesn't necessarily seem appropriate here either. Whatevs. I am who I am. Thanks to high school I learned to accept that early on. Ha!

ANYWAY this bit of evidence even had me shaking my head at myself afterward.

BACKGROUND: I had a routine check-up today with a new doctor.

EVIDENCE: Excerpt from conversation with my new doctor.

Doc: Do you smoke?
Me: No.
Doc: Do you drink?
Me: Occasionally. I have a glass of wine here and there.
Doc: Do you take drugs?
Me: Only when I have a headache or something. Then I usually take Tylenol or ibuprofen.
Doc: (after a half beat) I meant cocaine, meth, heroin... that sort of thing.
Me: (horrified) Oh! No! No. God no. Definitely not.
(insert nervous laugh)
Me: (5 seconds later while rubbing my sweaty palms on my paper gown) NO.

Oh. And here's a picture of a baby walrus to make your visit worthwhile.