Thursday, September 12, 2013

How To: Redo Your Dining Room 2 years After You Completely Re-did It...


1 - Approximately 1.5 years after completely renovating your dining room and painting it with Martha Stewart's Pumpkin Butter, one hormonal afternoon decide that you hate it. Because it's orange. And orange is limiting when picking out other colors in the house. And it blends in with your floors. And your dog (who also blends in with your floors).

OMG you guys. I legit just realized our living and dining room color scheme was completely based off our dog. Wow. 
You thought I was joking.

2 - Over the course of the next 2 months, slowly increase the number of times you criticize the color of your dining room to your husband. Examples may include:
"This room makes me want to eat pumpkin pie."
"Does the dining room look a little poopy in this light?"
"OMG - WHERE IS STELLA?! Oh here she is. She's camouflaged in pumpkin butter."

I couldn't find a actual picture this phenomena - probably because she in blends so well that
I couldn't find her in photos. This is just a gratuitous "isn't my dog adorbz?!" photo.
3 - If your complaining fails to convince your husband to let you start another project, try whining a little.
"But I don't liiiiikkkkkke it."
NOTE: Failing that, just start the project on a Saturday when he's in the lab. So far this method works well for relatively new newlyweds. I'll be sure to report back how this method stands the test of marriage being married to me.

4 - Decide that this project should incorporate the present your dad got you for Christmas - an air compressor. (People who know me and my dad aren't even blinking an eye at this.)
NOTE: Air compressors smoke a lot when you start them for the first time. Something about oil. Always start your new air compressor for the first time outdoors where it can burn off in your kitchen.

5 - Since board and batten requires a lot of nails and patience (one of which you don't have, the other which you can buy) - go with that. Draw a picture to help you figure out how much lumber you need. Make sure that you won't be able to decipher what the hell you were doing when you look at it again 2 months later.
Note me calling our dog walker by the wrong name in the corner. Fail.
6 - Because of a super duper long line at the paint counter at HD and your impressive lack amount of patience, paint the bottom third of your dining room Behr white. Not the fancy white you had picked out - just plain ol' off-the-shelf white.
Oooo look at that nice view of that wood paneling and green laminate. 
7 - While attaching the horizontal boards, if you happen to find yourself with an incredibly curvaceous wall, throw all of your weight into the board to try to get it to bend to the shape of the wall. Heck - hit it with a hammer a few times to see if you can persuade it. When you start to feel the drywall give way, hit it one more time before giving up. Then go back to HD and pick up a fake board made out of PVC that is bendy. Attach it and hope no one notices your outrageously curvy wall.

8 - Place and attach vertical slats. Then stop for a week to annoy your husband pick the perfect paint color.
As with whites, who knew there were so many... gray shades? Notice how I avoided that so smoothly? 
9 - After deliberating for a week over different grays, choose the same gray as you already have in your hallway. Because you're exciting and risky like that. 

10 - (Optional step) Hang up white curtains. Tape a blue paint chip on one because you envision painting stripes on them. Leave it there for 3 months and then start a new project (i.e. a full kitchen remodel).

Just for fun here's a real "before" picture!

Feel free to OOO and AHH with me.


  1. I love it! And you are just like me! J always says i have 'project ADD'. Ive painted our kitchen twice and have a fourtune in samole pots from home depot. So much so they have there own shelves (yes plural) in the basement. You must come help me do this to my formal dinning room also known as the den.

  2. Hahaha! Our poor J's. I'll help you do your dining room if you come out and help me do the kitchen!!